Old Pots and Leaking Faucets

faucetI’m like that old faucet: the gaskets holding back the pressure of my grief are worn and brittle.  Little rivers of pain now leak out of the weak spots.  I am powerless to stop them until I find a way to remove and reinstall the whole darn thing.  I can’t half-fix me like I did the faucet; I need to rip out all of the old parts and put in new defenses against failure.  Then, I’ll be the man I want to be— the man God intends for me to be. Continue reading “Old Pots and Leaking Faucets”


Darkness and a Mound of Ashes

FullSizeRender (2)I hesitated to write this.  Seeing it on the page only makes it more real.  I hesitated to post it even more, as the act of putting this out for public consumption feels sinfully self-indulgent.  I wrote it, then put it away, then pecked at it again, then let it sit for a couple of weeks to see if I still felt that this was full of the brutal honesty I intended to be.  In the end, I guess my purpose is this:  Down the road, I want my girls to understand that my problem isn’t their fault.  I also want them to know that it is always OK to reach out for help.  I want them to know that if they are struggling, they need not suffer alone.  Insisting on bearing burdens alone isn’t self sufficiency; loneliness is only the state of listening to your own unwise counsel.  And for you, dear reader, know this:  Don’t hesitate to find the help you need.  After spending the past several weeks inventorying the last 40 years of my life, I wish I had reached out much earlier. Continue reading “Darkness and a Mound of Ashes”

Hearing Requires True Listening

“Be still, and know that I am God…” Psalm 46:10

How many times have I prayed aloud and ended the time spent with God as soon as I said, “Amen?” How is it that I have gone my whole life and never simply sat and waited for the answers? Like Elijah, I might have to endure storms, fires and earthquakes. But, if I wait long enough for the silence, maybe I can hear the voice of God again. Continue reading “Hearing Requires True Listening”


imageI especially love to pull up crabgrass; there is something about that particularly pernicious weed that reminds me of sin. It starts as an innocuous looking sprout with just a couple of tender green leaves. If it is left to feed on just a little bit of water and sunlight, it creeps outward, snaking about the good plants in a way that is just barely perceptible. Before long, the crabgrass smothers all that was beautiful in a tangled green mess of dense, thick and ropey vegetation. When crabgrass reaches this stage, only the most radical solution remains available: Hacking up the whole garden and pitching out the good plants with the bad. Continue reading “Weeds”

Baseball Lessons: It’s Never Over

Great seats, and a very special day with my girls.

Baseball is like life:  It isn’t over until it’s over.  No matter how dark the prospects, it isn’t over until our breath leaves us. There is always time for redemption, an unexpected blessing, forgiveness or to just say “I love you.”

Continue reading “Baseball Lessons: It’s Never Over”

Confirming Promises Daily

Alex ConfirmedYou are remaking a promise:  The promise is not that you will be perfect, but that you will be alert and receptive to God’s grace.  It is a promise that you made today in church, but really you must renew that commitment every time you get out of bed on every morning for the rest of your life.  You are seeking nothing less than the face of God.  He is there, waiting for you to discover Him in unlikely and amazing places. Continue reading “Confirming Promises Daily”